I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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