check it out our google latitudes are spooning
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
