I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
