theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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