i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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