awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
MIDGETS
????
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
