Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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