maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
