if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why do cheetos always look like penises
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
