Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
