the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize