Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
