shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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