just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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