ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
