carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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