I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
