we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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