Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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