He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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