I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
