Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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