The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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