I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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