Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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