remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
