Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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