you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
