No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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