but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just google imaged poop.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
