I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
