So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
