Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
