I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
