I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
