I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
