At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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