Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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