Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
