I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
