I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
