So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
