shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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