So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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