I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
