I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
