yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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