I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
