i barfeds in our rink
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
