Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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