remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
