Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
