Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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