...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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