Im at strip club and am horny
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize