i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
