We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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