Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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