12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This baby is an asshole
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
