How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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