So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
