i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
