Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
