Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize