Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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