I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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