a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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