we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
