I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
