you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
