So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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